Somehow, it seems wrong to continue on about this tooth business, but after a conversation today at work, I just couldn't resist, insurance hoo-ha and all.
First off, I wasn't going to let anyone go away without viewing this gem (REQUIRED VIEWING):
One of my new work-mates found this for me, and I watched it today while screaming. SCREAMING! I felt almost every one of those teeny drills boring into my jawbone, because the lidocaine shot into my gums wasn't sufficient. The dentist had to shoot it directly into the root, and work it in as he exposed the root bit by bit. Had enough yet? I have.
The really bad news, though, came later, when he was finished. He told me I need four crowns. Well, of course I do! I want one to be diamond-studded, another emerald, the third sapphire, and the fourth in rubies and pearls. Let's get on with this immediately!!
But four. And not an exaggeration.(Cracked/worn/unstable/chipped.)
Four!
Four.
Feels like if I type that number enough times, it'll become real. Not quite ready to sell my house to finance my mouth but I'm veering mighty close to it.
And now, for the insurance/lack-of-insurance rant.....
I'm proposing that the insurance companies divide the human body into segments, and price their policies according to which parts you choose to insure.
For example:
The Torso Policy would cover everything from neck down to groin.
The Limb Policy would cover arms and legs.
The Head Policy would cover brain, skull, face, ears, eyes, nose and mouth (including teeth).
For those unwilling or unable to parse the body in such a manner, there could be the Grand Corps Policy, covering everything form the top of the skull to the soles of the feet.
Or there could even be a more itemized list of options, such as The Hangnail Policy, or The Hair Policy (which would cover bad haircuts). The Earlobe Policy. The Eyelash Policy. The Elbow Policy (handy for tennis players).
For ages 13-17, there could be The Acne Policy.
For men there could be the Erectile Dysfunction Policy (I mean, why should I pay for their ED Rx's.?).
The possibilities are infinite!
Honestly, I'm surprised that the insurance universe hasn't descended to this insidious level of trivial itemization.
I'm happy to know that you can purchase a policy which will cover what your primary insurer won't cover, ie, deductibles et al, euphemistically called "Supplemental Insurance". I'd like it renamed to "Bleed Your Wallet Insurance".
Is this madness?
Yes?
years and years ago I bought disability insurance through my employer...they actually RATE, MONETARILY, the loss of 1.) thumb 2.) hand 3.) arm, etc. etc. the list goes on. Hmmm...I wonder whose job it was to assign a financial value to the loss of certain body parts? I mean, maybe my thumb is more important to me than your thumb is to you. Do I get more money? N.O. Crazy.
ReplyDelete